Notes on life
and some doodlings by the side.
I have been quieter, my mouth has been quieter. My mind is where all the talking goes down.
I think this is what life does, what growth does.
Those things you once strongly advocated for, you are now silent about them because now, you know.
Ugh, I don’t want to sound deep in this particular publication so… just come with me as I share some musings and doodlings.
I Am Thrilled To Announce.
It is a sunny harmattan afternoon in December.
You are doom-scrolling on LinkedIn, scrolling to your doom.
You have successfully reacted on 5 First-class celebration posts without having a breakdown.
You bump into the profile of a Senior Associate at Banwo & Ighodalo and to console yourself that there is still hope for Second Class Uppers, you scroll to her ‘Education’ section to check what she graduated with:
Baze University, Abuja
Grade - First Class Honors
Nigeria Law School, Lagos Campus
Grade - First Class Honors
You quietly hit the ‘back’ button and keep doom-scrolling. And scrolling to your doom.
4th December, 2024
Random Musings in Class while waiting for the Equity and Trusts Lecturer.
Jealousy, Envy and Everything in Between
Till August, 2023, you thought you were the best of men.
You thought you were THAT girl or THAT boy.
Until… you are restraining your fat thumb from mistakenly tapping on their Facebook story, their Instagram story, their WhatsApp status…
Until you are convincing yourself that their existence and whatever they do does not ruffle your haughty feathers nor bother you.
Until you are convincing yourself that the way your belly knots and starts to hurt or the sharp descent of your heart from its thoracic cavity to your belly when they announce a win is not because of your envy that is killing you softly; but because of the terrible afang soup you ate last night.
Slowly, you crouch to clutch your tummy and to look for where you might have dropped the last ounce of your dignity.
Then you sit up and ascend to another level of witchcraft.
The one that does not involve covens or flying on sticks but hating on the girl or boy next door who is just trying to make it in this world.
Independent Woman Wahala
It is month end. The time when everything suddenly ends too.
Your toothpaste. Your bathing soap. The tissue paper. The detergent. It seems all the toiletries connive and wage a silent war on you.
I once rolled my eyes at a post on Twitter where a lady was celebrating being gifted a year’s supply of toiletries.
Forgive me, I was just a child. I would jump for joy if someone gifted me a family-sized tooth-paste now.
I don’t know where this publication is headed but just trust me.
To Love Love
I’m still wondering why I had so many friends when my bad character was at an all time high. I am ten times better than who I was in 2020 but I see no people.
Anyways, let’s talk about love.
Let’s talk about the yearning. Like two Bridgerton characters trapped in Nigeria. Let’s talk about how respect and distant admiration suddenly turns to a… a wanting?
Let’s talk about the waiting. The “if only he would just say it!” stage. The “yep, he just loved my Facebook story for the 100th time but when is he going to LOVE ME?!”
Let’s talk about the “why did he do that for me? I mean, he cudda easily ignored it because it was not his problem. Does this mean he…?”💞💞
Let’s talk about the “I would say yes right now if he asked” stage.
Few weeks later, he is ugly and you were just a chill girl on your ovulation.
This is the most chaotic stack I have ever stacked! I really wanted to write something, anything that didn’t sound like my usual vulnerable and deep self so I’m grateful to you for powering through to this point.
I hope you loved my doodles.🥹
The above was my first doodle but you have seen how I got better and betterer as I progressed, as I doodled more, as I laughed about it without a care in the world.
Right.
I want you to treat life like that.
Doodle. Laugh at its ugliness the first time. Show someone else and laugh some more. Then doodle some more. And laugh some more. Then realize that you’re actually getting better. Then watch the world confirm it too.
This is how my 2024 has been. I have failed. I have lost. I have hoped. I have laughed. I have cried. But most importantly, I have doodled.
I will see you soon. Go doodle!
Oh toodles, or should I say… oh, doodles!🥰
Writers ARE artists canvassing emotions into words. Painted here is a message, a beautiful one.
Thank you, Edimek.🌹